Post by magnus on Dec 18, 2021 9:13:19 GMT -6
The night was crisp. The sky was clear, the twinkling jewels in the sky. Snow was falling, the lay at four inches. The hark of heaven.
December 18th. In Freedom Villa, USA. A small subdivision of All-Town, USA. The pastel colors of the home, shown warmly in the Christmas lights. The sound of Carolers and the warm scent of cider filled the air.
Christmas time in idyllic America.
"Christmas time in idyllic America." Snarked Irina with a gag. "It's magical enough to restore my womb and get me pregnant and yet capitalist enough to force me to carry it to term."
Irina sat in the car in a conservative dress to reflect conservative ideals.. Magnus was next to her in the passenger seat, more festive with a ugly Christmas sweater on.
"Why do I suddenly have the urge to buy a 70 inch plasma radiation television set?"
"Magnus, that is capitalists effect of Saint. Krampus-naucht. Christ child born and now you must BUY BUY BUY! " Irina gestures wildly with her hands. " buy it for a ruble, buy it for a vowel, buy it in sets of three, only though you need one. Buy it now for only three easy payments of 9 point 99. But wait, there's more! There's always more, magnus. That is why we are here. To show them the error in their ways."
"We must pretend to be one of them. Irina, if I start -" *gulp* " singing, please put a bullet in my head.
"Comrade, I'd put a bullet in your head even if you weren't singing."
"Thank you, comrade." Replies magnus.
Flash cut to them at the front door of one of the houses. We can see a cross cut of the party inside and them outside. The doorbell rings, the door opens and they shout wild slightly off Christmas greetings!
HAPPY YULE / MERRY SANTA NIGHT
the irony is lost on the party guests. Comrades, please, come inside. Immediately they get split up. Irena with the women. Magnus with the men.
"Magnus. What do you think of the Nebraska Honeybadgers this year? School has a hell of a team. Were you an athlete in college?"
"Shotput for the Berlin uh.." magnus looks around. "-jagermeisters"
"Studied abroad, huh? I can respect that. I'm a Delaware state man, myself. GOOO Tax Havens!"
Magnus wanted to carry tune, just so Irena can put him out of his misery early. However, Irena isn't faring much better. In the opposite corner the women were mousy in small pillow talk. Irena side eyes magnus. Magnus looks back at her but only briefly. Both wanted the hot tag out.
"So, magnus, what do you do for vacation? I can set you up either a nice timeshare, four weeks put of the year. You know, the best part of a time share is, you get to go home."
"When I was a boy, I used to go to Ukraine and throw rocks at the gypsies."Replies magnus with fond memories
" yeah, Nantucket used to be my summer home. So I can set you up, only set you back two grand." Says another.
The capaltists spirits of robber-barrons past took hold of magnus and he started to haggle a timeshare.
"Two grand, bah, you can do better than that. Nantucket? This isn't 1920, you can do better than that." Magnus balks at the offer.
"Whoaa, magnus. The shrude negotiation. I like it."
Magnus looks over and sees Irena give him a motioning nod to the bathroom.
" eight hundred, two weeks. That's my offer, think it over. I have to see what my wife wants." Magnus flashes samile and some finger guns as he walks to the bathroom.
Magnus and Irena meet in the bathroom. They lock the door and start bickering
What do you want / what's wrong with you.
They're asking me about sex / I almost bought a time share.
"Get this shirt off me or give me your gun." Says a frustrated Magnus.
Magnus struggles to take the sweater off and reach for Irinas gun. They struggle trying to wrestle the gun from each other.
"Magnus, give it to me. Ugh! Stop being difficult. Stop being so rough!"
Outside, the party is listening into what they assume is a time of passion. In the bathroom, Irena gets a grip with magnus.
"Magnus, relax. Take your shirt off. Remember why we came here. These bullets are for capitalists like von brant, not for us, comrade. And I am dead assassin, not housewife. Tear my skirt. We will divide and Conquer. You take the men, I take the women and children. They and the bpw will know soviet might. Kindo can't pseudo science his way out if this. Not when we're done. Get your head in the game. You ready?"
Irina shakes Magnus.
Magnus nods.
"Lets go." He says.
They exit the bathroom and the party is uneasy. Irina goes back to the women. Magnus with the men.
"Magnus, you dog, hahaha. Hoe big is that Russian peace keeper you got?" Asks one of the guyss
"Eight inches long. Eight inches thick. Perfectl balanced as all things should be for conquest. To celebrate, let me show you an old soviet drinking game." Replies Magnus reach for a bottle of vodka
Back with the children Irina sits with them as they eat snacks
"Does anyone know the story of Krampus-naucht?"
We fade on the party…
That's just getting started
December 18th. In Freedom Villa, USA. A small subdivision of All-Town, USA. The pastel colors of the home, shown warmly in the Christmas lights. The sound of Carolers and the warm scent of cider filled the air.
Christmas time in idyllic America.
"Christmas time in idyllic America." Snarked Irina with a gag. "It's magical enough to restore my womb and get me pregnant and yet capitalist enough to force me to carry it to term."
Irina sat in the car in a conservative dress to reflect conservative ideals.. Magnus was next to her in the passenger seat, more festive with a ugly Christmas sweater on.
"Why do I suddenly have the urge to buy a 70 inch plasma radiation television set?"
"Magnus, that is capitalists effect of Saint. Krampus-naucht. Christ child born and now you must BUY BUY BUY! " Irina gestures wildly with her hands. " buy it for a ruble, buy it for a vowel, buy it in sets of three, only though you need one. Buy it now for only three easy payments of 9 point 99. But wait, there's more! There's always more, magnus. That is why we are here. To show them the error in their ways."
"We must pretend to be one of them. Irina, if I start -" *gulp* " singing, please put a bullet in my head.
"Comrade, I'd put a bullet in your head even if you weren't singing."
"Thank you, comrade." Replies magnus.
Flash cut to them at the front door of one of the houses. We can see a cross cut of the party inside and them outside. The doorbell rings, the door opens and they shout wild slightly off Christmas greetings!
HAPPY YULE / MERRY SANTA NIGHT
the irony is lost on the party guests. Comrades, please, come inside. Immediately they get split up. Irena with the women. Magnus with the men.
"Magnus. What do you think of the Nebraska Honeybadgers this year? School has a hell of a team. Were you an athlete in college?"
"Shotput for the Berlin uh.." magnus looks around. "-jagermeisters"
"Studied abroad, huh? I can respect that. I'm a Delaware state man, myself. GOOO Tax Havens!"
Magnus wanted to carry tune, just so Irena can put him out of his misery early. However, Irena isn't faring much better. In the opposite corner the women were mousy in small pillow talk. Irena side eyes magnus. Magnus looks back at her but only briefly. Both wanted the hot tag out.
"So, magnus, what do you do for vacation? I can set you up either a nice timeshare, four weeks put of the year. You know, the best part of a time share is, you get to go home."
"When I was a boy, I used to go to Ukraine and throw rocks at the gypsies."Replies magnus with fond memories
" yeah, Nantucket used to be my summer home. So I can set you up, only set you back two grand." Says another.
The capaltists spirits of robber-barrons past took hold of magnus and he started to haggle a timeshare.
"Two grand, bah, you can do better than that. Nantucket? This isn't 1920, you can do better than that." Magnus balks at the offer.
"Whoaa, magnus. The shrude negotiation. I like it."
Magnus looks over and sees Irena give him a motioning nod to the bathroom.
" eight hundred, two weeks. That's my offer, think it over. I have to see what my wife wants." Magnus flashes samile and some finger guns as he walks to the bathroom.
Magnus and Irena meet in the bathroom. They lock the door and start bickering
What do you want / what's wrong with you.
They're asking me about sex / I almost bought a time share.
"Get this shirt off me or give me your gun." Says a frustrated Magnus.
Magnus struggles to take the sweater off and reach for Irinas gun. They struggle trying to wrestle the gun from each other.
"Magnus, give it to me. Ugh! Stop being difficult. Stop being so rough!"
Outside, the party is listening into what they assume is a time of passion. In the bathroom, Irena gets a grip with magnus.
"Magnus, relax. Take your shirt off. Remember why we came here. These bullets are for capitalists like von brant, not for us, comrade. And I am dead assassin, not housewife. Tear my skirt. We will divide and Conquer. You take the men, I take the women and children. They and the bpw will know soviet might. Kindo can't pseudo science his way out if this. Not when we're done. Get your head in the game. You ready?"
Irina shakes Magnus.
Magnus nods.
"Lets go." He says.
They exit the bathroom and the party is uneasy. Irina goes back to the women. Magnus with the men.
"Magnus, you dog, hahaha. Hoe big is that Russian peace keeper you got?" Asks one of the guyss
"Eight inches long. Eight inches thick. Perfectl balanced as all things should be for conquest. To celebrate, let me show you an old soviet drinking game." Replies Magnus reach for a bottle of vodka
Back with the children Irina sits with them as they eat snacks
"Does anyone know the story of Krampus-naucht?"
We fade on the party…
That's just getting started