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Post by Conrad Dukes on Sept 23, 2021 10:57:43 GMT -6
Rules- Posts limited to 500 words max.
- Absolutely no double posting unless the thread has been inactive for at least six hours.
- Do not kill or permanently main or cripple your opponents. Do not declare yourself the winner.
Judging will be based on creativity, interactions with others, and storytelling. You are, in this thread only allowed to use your opponent's characters without permission. God-moding and no-selling will be considered judging demerits, as well as the handling of characters of others we feel inappropriate.
Good luck. May the last man be standing. |
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Post by magnus on Sept 27, 2021 12:07:10 GMT -6
The soviet Anthem hits the PA system as Kransnaya Sila with Viktor Roamnov come to the ring. The trio get into the ring as Viktor gets a microphone.
“Greetings and salutations, pigdogs and Capitalists. I see that, last week, capitalsm rears its ugly head, mo-hawked and spray painted. Jeweled with metal in its nose and fanciful dreams in his mind. There is little yet much to be said on the behalf of you lot. Your sneak attack was commendable. respectable, dare I even say, recommended. Yes, indeed, recommended because had that been a fair and honest fight, the Soviet Space program would be flying high in the air while quite literally fucking, the new world order.
In Russia, we have no time for jokes. For what is comedy without tragedy? What is satisfaction without failure? What is capitalism without communism?
Hollywood, you are my burden to bear on the shoulders of giants on a silver screen, adorned with ornaments of the highestprice.” order. Where is the filth? Where is the betrayal? Where is the heart and soul of the human condition except hidden behind vanity and plastic. Behind what you can do for your country instead of just doing it for the country. Last week, this week, this week, you will not be so lucky. Even if we - they, the Angel and the Lion have to fight all four of you. Might as well bring all fifty of your filthy stars and all thirteen of your stripes. You will need all power from your country that does not care for you. As we do not care for you. Mistakes were made and now you will pay the soviet
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Post by Lexi Sparkles on Sept 28, 2021 8:50:23 GMT -6
"Takeover" by (hed) P.E. starts to play. What a dope fuckin' song, huh? The El Savadorians are vibin' af when five weirdos emerge from behind the mystical curtain. They form a line on the stage, with the pink feather boa'd ringleader front and center. Bruce Buffer: And their opponents… weighing in at a combined weight of three hundred and twenty-one pounds… being accompanied to the ring by Hollywood Miss Ainsworth, The Bad Guy Flop, and Buff Daddy Spartan… LEX-PAC LEXI SPARKLES AND BIG SEXY HIGH VOLTAGE!
He hesitates to finish the ridiculous introduction. Bruce Buffer: FUCK! THE! WORLD! ORDER!
The fearsome fivesome makes their way down the ramp. Miss Ainsworth twirls the end of her feather boa provocatively at the locals before stopping dead in her tracks at the edge of the ramp. She points at Bruce Buffer, demanding he give her a microphone. He obliges. The music dies down. Miss Ainsworth: It feels soooooo good to be back in Saaaaaan Salvadorrrrr, sister!!!
The fans are confused, unsure how to react to that botch. Lexi whispers something to her. Miss Ainsworth: Oh. That was last week, huh? This is San Jose now? How the fuck am I supposed to keep track of all these bullshit towns?!
They boo the fuck out of her. Miss Ainsworth: Fuckin' relax, sisters. I'm not here to fight you. I'm here to guide my squad to victory over a couple of commie pieces of trash, sister.
She pauses. Miss Ainsworth: Oh! I get why you're booing me! You're aaaaaall a bunch of commie pieces of trash!
They boo the fuck out of her… again. Miss Ainsworth: Well shit, sister. If we have to fight all of you… we sure as fuck will bloody the lot of ya! You'll be shittin' thru your teeth when we're done with ya, sister!
The rest of the ftWo confusedly looks at her. Miss Ainsworth: Lex-Pac! Big Sexy!
She slaps them both on the chest. Miss Ainsworth: Go fuck 'em!
She pauses. Miss Ainsworth: Up!
And they're off to the races. Lexi and HV slide into the ring, bravely charging into battle against the Russkies. Viktor evades danger just in time, fleeing to the outside of the ring.. They all throw hands so furiously that a cartoonish cloud of dust appears in the ring, with various limbs popping out… and even, somehow, a baby goat. Baby Goat: *bleats in Russian*
William: What in the hecking heck is that?!
When the dust settles, all four human beings are piled up in the ring and the baby goat stands on top of them. Viktor salutes the baby goat. Baby Goat: *bleats in Russian*
Simon Wexler: Something something something, comrade. My Goat Russian is a little Ruskie... I mean... rusty.
William: You speak Goat Russian?!
Simon Wexler: I took half a semester in college.
William: Shootfire. That's darn impressive, sir.
And then stuff happens? |
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Post by magnus on Sept 28, 2021 12:28:39 GMT -6
Magnus climbs out from the pile, he grabs the big sexi and hits a suplex.
Simon: big suplex from the big soviet.
William: Here comes the Angel, flying across the ring with an elbow drop but Lex-Pac boots her off to prevent a pin attempt.
Its a brawl inside the ring as Viktor just stares deeply into the eyes of the goat.
Viktor: * Bleets in soviet propaganda *
The goat bleets back.
Simon: William, whats going on? William?
William stands up and salutes to the goat.
Simon: I think we lost William to soviet propaganda! But here comes Big Sexy , getting a chair!
* SMASH *
*SMASH *
Simon: The soviets are down!
WHAM!
William: Soviet curb stomp by the goat!
Lexi makes the pin on Irena!
1..
2..
WHAM!
NOO!!
Simon: The goat breaks it up with a headbutt! This is the craziest thing that I’ve seen! William? William are you back?
William: Comrade. I have returned to do the bidding of the motherland.
Simon: Magnus gets to his feet.. Lionsault!
The pin..
1..
2..
NOOO!!
kickout!
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Post by Irina Ivanova on Sept 28, 2021 14:27:14 GMT -6
Meanwhile, a recovering Irina squares up to Lexi, trash talking her opponent in Russian. Lexi gazes at her blankly. Suddenly, Irina stops and takes a knee. The goat hops on her back and flings itself at Sparkles with an adorable attempt at a dropkick -- when High Voltage smacks the poor baby goat right out of the air!
Simon: NOOO!
William: NYET!!!
Irina takes advantage of the momentary distraction. She hits the ropes and rushes in with a double clotheline! But Big Sexy and Lex Pac duck! The Red Angel rebounds --
Simon: Double big boot to the Russian -- WAIT!
William: Ivanova with a Soviet-style baseball slide BETWEEN the opposition! I've never seen anything like it!
Simon: And Viktor at ringside, checking on the goat...
Irina bounces back to her feet in time to meet an oncoming charge from Lexi, the two women trading vicious rights, while Magnus intercepts High Voltage...
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