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Post by Punished Von Brandt on Sept 1, 2021 7:59:05 GMT -6
Rules- Posts limited to 500 words max.
- Absolutely no double posting unless the thread has been inactive for at least six hours.
- Do not kill or permanently main or cripple your opponents. Do not declare yourself the winner.
Judging will be based on creativity, interactions with others, and storytelling. You are, in this thread only allowed to use your opponent's characters without permission. God-moding and no-selling will be considered judging demerits, as well as the handling of characters of others we feel inappropriate.
Good luck. May the last man be standing. |
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Post by High Voltage on Sept 1, 2021 13:23:21 GMT -6
I am buzzing. The electricity is running through my veins.
The anxiety is palpable.
I still have no idea how I ended up here but I do know that she has made me richer than my wildest dreams. I do know that she threatened my existence.
I do know that I am in Black Pyramid Wrestling.
Miss Ainsworth is psychotic, her willingness to threaten the removal of my scrotum with a claw hammer was convincing enough, but her two minions made her even more frightening. Whether it was the mute giant with the ginger beard or the skinny guy in an ugly suit with a sadistic smile.
They scared the fuck out of money.
I've taken her money and I like to breathe so I will do what I need to while I figure out what the fuck is going on.
Right now - it's time to make my debut in Black Pyramid Wrestling.
High Voltage busts out into the floor of Luxor Hotel expecting to be confronted by a mass of wrestlers expecting to tear him limb from limb. Instead he is met by only a raucous crowd ready to tear anyone and anything apart - as would a ravenous transient would a bloody steak.
Where are they?
Spinning in circles looking for those who seek the same prize as he, Voltage is cracked from behind with a chair by an unseen assailant.
Ugh!
He collapses to the floor like a poorly built surfside condominium.
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Post by hachiman0 on Sept 1, 2021 18:08:51 GMT -6
Dressed in riverside shaman regalia, his bath towel turban glistening from a costume jewelry broach pin, the emptied atrium is witness to trails of smoke and the gibbering of Hachiman with unseen interlocutors.
"If one more person tries to get me to try the airport sushi..." he looks to see High Voltage stunned on the ground. "And that's what happens when you go for the best deal in town. That's why I always go through a back window."
He nonchalant strolls by the scene, and with a quick jab of this superb athletic specimen, decides it's best not to dawdle in this open killing floor. When he too eats the thunderous thud of a steel chair. He doubles over - cupped hands protecting the expensive jewels as only a mugging victim might - then calls to High Voltage.
"Hey," hey whimpers, "are you dead?"
Suddenly, a streaking violent beam blast in the form of a spear tackle that wipes out their mutual attacker. Hachiman sees what looks like two more hungry treasure seekers. He remains fetal, weighing his options.
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Post by High Voltage on Sept 1, 2021 20:09:12 GMT -6
My back hurt, my shoulders hurt, my neck ached like I couldn't believe, there was a ringing in my head that I couldn't possible drown out. Miss Ainsworth had suggested there would be some physicality to this mystery task she had set me on. The firm grip of the ginger giant holding me in the chair had inferred it wouldn't be minor, but the clatter our steel across my back wasn't the first thing I expected to feel.
Laying on the floor, wallowing in my own misery has a magical way of making time stand still. I could here commotion happening in a flash around me, it was partially drowned out by the rabid noise of this pathologically sadistic audience. I heard something about airport sushi around me.
What sane person eats airport sushi?
I heard another echo crack without seeing anything but the back of my eyelids as I lay waiting for the initial electrical pain to subside.
I open my eyes to see this straaaaaaaaaaaaaange looking dude... on the ground next to me, whimpering in the fetal position. This opponent? seems to ludicrously adorned in costume jewelry as if he is some kind of riverside shaman, some charlatan you would expect to reading palms on the street corner.
He is unusual.
I can't lay on the ground forever.
Voltage pushes his palms into the floor and rises to his feet, only to be met by the burning gaze of the curvaceous brunette Miss Ainsworth, each of his arms are held respectively by the ginger giant and the skinny insect. Her tight blue dress accentuates every one of her luscious curves.
I stare at her eyes, equally mesmerized and petrified.
"Alas, young Jaxon, you seem to be disappointing me already at his early juncture. It is such a pity, as I had hoped you would be spark to ignite the fires in this world I intend to burn. If you are incapable of completing our bargain, I can allow you to end yourself or I can simply disemboweled and allow the fabulous Mr. Flop to boil your intestines in a pot for the wolves of this world. The choice is mine."
I nod.
The insect, Mr Flop is giggling unsettlingly.
"Now allow my Spartan to help you along with your first steps in this journey."
Spartan lets Voltage go, turning his attention to the prone Hachiman lifting him high into the air and slamming him into the ground.
Ew! I feel the tongue of Mr. Flop probe my ear canal.
"There you go, Voltage." Miss Ainsworth smirks, "Do something."
I look at my opponent on the ground.
High Voltage kicks Hachiman in the jaw. Miss Ainsworth shakes her head, she looks at Spartan and Mr. Flop.
Oof!
Mr. Flops hands grabs latch onto High Voltage's testicles as Spartan lifts him in the air from behind slamming him down on top of Hachiman.
"Do better." Miss Ainsworth sneers.
My balls hurt more than I ever imagine.
Mr. Flop licks Hachiman.
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Post by thegoldenidol on Sept 2, 2021 7:06:09 GMT -6
This is it, The Golden Idolo, perched upon a ring post, watching the battle before me… If only mi popi could see me now, doing our Familia proud in the States. He was always about doing what was best for us, but he found himself in the back pocket of some very underhanded promoters who knew nothing of his rich legacy… They only saw a wet back who could flip and flop around wearing a lucha mask… But we are more than that and I am here in Black Pyramid Wrestling to prove just that.
Lázaro leaps off of the top rope with a beautiful frog splash down onto High Voltage and Hachiman, knocking the wind right out of both men.
One down four to go, gotta keep my head on a swivel.
Lázaro rolls off of them and kips back up to his feet, looking around at the rest of the ring, seeing Bull tangled up with Taylor in the corner and Lexi on the apron clawing at Bull's eyes.
Do I attack the giant, the walking tool box, or do I knock the gringa off the apron? Decisions… Decisions… I'm sorry, mija, please forgive your popi.
Lázaro runs and leapfrogs over Bull and catches Lexi by the back of the head, hitting placha blockbuster to the mat below. He lies with Lexi lying next to him trying to gain their wits about them.
Either stupid or the smartest move I could've done, but looking at the fans around here, they're eating it up. They know the name Lázaro and they know the sacrifice I'll make to solidify my destiny for mi Familia.
Lázaro and Lexi both find their feet at the same time, holding each other up before Lexi lands a smack across Lázaro's face.
Damn, this Chica hits harder than I thought she was capable of.
Lexi throws a spinning back kick to Lázaro's stomach which doubles him over and she leaps to the apron and comes back down with a knee to the back of Lázaro's head, dropping him to the mat. Lexi looks down at him for a second before shrugging and sliding back into the ring where Bull has Taylor gorilla pressed above his head.
Come on, Lázaro, we gotta get back in there… These gringos can't walk away with the prize money, do this for mija!
Lázaro pulls himself up and climbs to the apron as Bull launches Taylor over the top rope, sending Taylor right over Lázaro and to the floor below. As Bull releases Taylor, Lexi jumps onto the giant's back. Lázaro looks behind him to Taylor who is lying on his back and Lázaro springboard off the top rope, down onto Taylor with a moonsault. Lázaro rolls off holding his stomach and watching the fans scream his name.
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Post by hachiman0 on Sept 2, 2021 9:19:18 GMT -6
Sluglike, logrolling his way from that brutal assault, Hachiman surprises the golden son of gilded lineage with low blow and school boy rollup. The second his body comes into view in that fatal exposed pin position, a superkick launches Hachiman off the pin attempt like a cowboy blow away by a carriage gun amidst a piercing Wilhelm scream. Hachiman doubles back, stammering with their sore mouth covered.
Lazaro begins to recover when bottles fly at him them in all directions. Broken bottles and other mobbing flotsam makes the ring into a pincushion of hellish detritus only a Cenobite would enjoy.
Merciless, and covered in a blanket of glass caltrops, High Voltage charges and punts Lazaro in the ribs. Threats of Mr. Flop turn abysmally when the monstrous thing slithers into view and delivers a flying face crusher into the glass. Flop, although the inflictor, takes equal the pain to limp from that in a pyrrhic victory. When the terrible strength of bowl tears through them--a choke toss lands this infernal presence on the matchup on another bed of glass. It doesn't leave them in more than disarray, merely an awful sting to otherwise painful descent at gravity's wrath.
Hachiman rolls away plotting his next move as the killing floor becomes consumed by the raging threshold of all these hungry, dangerous athletes hellbent on what has been promised. When he stares towards the distance as sees, eyes wide and dilated as those shot throughout the Mad Max franchise, seeing once more his grandfather's spirit. This tall and powerful man in judogi shakes his head in shame.
"Kill Hachiman!" he screams from the spirit realm.
Hachiman roars from inside, his arm held for a lariat with everyone now in sight!
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Post by thegoldenidol on Sept 2, 2021 10:02:33 GMT -6
Mija, hope you're behind me, because this ring has just became something out of a horror movie. Blood and shards of glass everywhere, this is a far cry from the hard makeshift mats that your cousin and I use to wrestle inside of back at home. My ribs are killing me, but I find strength in you and I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
Lázaro gets to hit feet and sees High Voltage get taken down by Hachiman's lariat, followed by Lexi, followed by Taylor, and miraculously Hachiman sends Bull over the top rope, only to be caught by a super kick right on the chin by Lázaro.
Right on the button, I send Hachiman back to the mat and now I set my eyes on Taylor who finds his feet just in time for me to run toward him.
Lázaro leaps and headscissors Taylor into the ropes and Taylor rests his neck on the middle rope. Lexi runs at Lázaro and his reflexes kick in as he sends her leap dragging over the top and she falls onto the back of Taylor's head causing to launch back clinging to his throat.
Like poetry in motion within this chaos, I will find victory amongst these formidable competitors.
Lázaro turns his attention toward High Voltage who has cleared the ring of bodies and all that stands between the two of them is a sea of shards of glass. High Voltage gives Lázaro a come and get it jester and Lázaro obliges as he leaps over the glass with a Thesz press, taking the larger man down on top of bloody glass. Lázaro grounds and pounds High Voltage before he is met by Bull grabbing him by the throat and lifting him into the air.
Gotta fight this giant off, he stands between me and my DESTINY.
Lázaro throws knees to Bull's sides and Bull grips tighter, almost rag dulling Lázaro.
Dig deeper, Lázaro…
Lázaro throws one more stiff knee to Bull's ribs and Bull drops Lázaro to the mat back first on top of the glass. Lázaro rolls around screaming out in pain.
Mios dios!!!
Lázaro rolls and flops his way out to the ring apron to take a much needed breather. The two larger opponents of the match meet eye to eye in the center of the ring. High Voltage and Bull start chopping and punching away at each other in an attempt to bring the ring crashing down.
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Post by High Voltage on Sept 2, 2021 16:05:49 GMT -6
Maybe I should've said no.
Corey Bull's slap echoes over the rabid ambient noise of the crowd.
Maybe.
Fuck that hurts. Bull's hand leaves another indentation on the chest of High Voltage.
Maybe I should hit him back this time. High Voltage kicks Bull in the LEFT shin. Bull buckles, but a man of that sheer proportion does not go down easily, a single kick to the shin is like trying to feel a buffalo with a bee-bee gun. Bull roars back flattening High Voltage with a wicked swing lariat whose raw power could only been drawn from the pits of Hell. High Voltage spins through one hundred and eighty degrees, his face landing on shards of glass scattered across the canvas.
More than maybe.
Bull pulls the flaccid High Voltage to his feet, holding him above the ground, his left first wrapped around his throat, Bull drives his right fist into the teeth of High Voltage who is lacking any sort of recognizable responsiveness.
Definitely.
Miss Ainsworth, flanked by Mr. Flop and Spartan the Destroyer, watches on disapprovingly. With nothing more than a wave of her right hand, her minions make their way to the scene of his destruction, Spartan is quick to driver his shoulders into the ribcage of Bull taking High Voltage out of immediate harm. Spartan puts Bull on his shoulders spinning him around and dropping him down in the centrifugal force of an F5 tornado. Meanwhile, Flop slides himself onto the top of prone High Voltage, licking his face while he slides along his body, pivoting leaving his crotch resting on his face. Mr Flop, pulls a markers from places best left unmentioned and draws a sad face with exes for eyes on the exposed midriff of High Voltage. Flop, leaps like a frog off of him and onto the equally prone Bull. Flop uses the same marker to squiggle randomly on the face of Bull. Both exit the ring, relishing is the mayhem they have caused, returning the side of their mistress.
Why?
Why did I do this?
Get up!
Who pulls hair? Lazaro's hands get a firm grip of High Voltage's high, using it use a tool to lift him to his feet. Lazaro immediately drops Voltage's throat across the top rope. Voltage, once again drops to the mat and Lazaro ties him up in the ropes.
What the hell?
Lazaro drives a heel into the back of the restrained Voltage's skull.
Mmph!
How do I get out of this? Voltage, dazed, confused but conscience, struggles wildly in the ropes , he manages to twist himself over into time to see Lazaro's foot coming down on the bridge of his nose, a leg sweep saves him.
Phew. That was close. High Voltage takes the time to get properly free of his entanglement. Standing he looks at the fallen Bull, he looked the wrong way because he when he turns in the other direction he is met by a pinpoint, US Military Drone strike accurate superkick.
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Post by thegoldenidol on Sept 2, 2021 17:30:51 GMT -6
High Voltage goes down hard and Ripped Taylor flexes on him, showing off every perfectly sculpted ab.
El stupido gringo, spending too much time showboating…
Lexi spins Taylor around and kicks him in the gut before dropping him face first with a DDT.
Lexi is as cunning as a desert fox, every move a desperate attempt at flourishing in a demanding environment.
Lexi meets eyes with Lázaro with a smile on her face, trying to hype herself up. Lázaro obliges and steps toward her with his guard down enough to make her attack first with a low kick, which he dodges, before flashing her a cocky smile.
Ah, she's pretty fast, but The Golden Idolo is faster.
Lázaro returns the favor and attempts to sweep her leg, which she dodges in return, flashing her own smile as well. Lázaro and Lexi circle each other before tying up in the middle of the ring, going back and forth trying to gain the upper hand. Bull surprises both of them with his giant mitts grabbing both Lázaro and Lexi by the necks.
Not this monster again, may my enemy be my temporary Amiga.
Lázaro and Lexi meet eyes and as if they're reading each other's mind, they both throw a well timed cohesive set of punches into the neck of Bull, causing him to stumble backward. Lexi and Lázaro both send a pair of superkicks to Bull's stomach, doubling him over. Lázaro nods to Lexi who leaps with a knee under Bull's chin as Lázaro leaps onto Bull's back with a double foot stomp onto Lexi's Twentyfiveeight single knee code reader. Bull collapses to the ground and Lexi is met by Lázaro lifting her to her feet.
This girl can truly hang with the toughest of them.
Lázaro shakes Lexi's hand and they're interrupted by Hachiman and Taylor who spin both of them around. Lexi throws a punch, but Taylor blocks it and lands a headbutt that drops her to the mat, face first to the glass shards. Hachiman lands a series of chops taking Lázaro to the corner ring post, the fans come alive with whooooos after every chop. Hachiman climbs up Lázaro in the corner and begins punching him.
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Hachiman throws the final punch, but Lázaro wiggles out, catching the punch and tucking it between Hachiman's legs and pinning Hachiman's head between his legs and the turnbuckle pad. Lázaro backs away and points a finger pistol at Hachiman's head before delivering a super kick, which causes his body to go limp on the top turnbuckle. Lázaro makes short work of the ropes as he scales them to stand on the top turnbuckle next to Hachiman.
For mija, she gives me strength…
Lázaro lifts Hachiman up and hugs him tight before launching himself and Hachiman off the top rope with a La Mosca Dorada (Spanish fly) onto the glass shards below them. Both hit hard and start to flop around and convulse.
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Post by Ripped “Tide” Taylor on Sept 2, 2021 18:30:10 GMT -6
How did Ripped “Tide” Taylor end up in this predicament?
The view of being pressed over Corey Bull’s blinding bald head was quite impressive. He might’ve been in a bad spot, but his opponents were in an even worse spot.
He came to the Luxor Hotel & Casino for one reason and one reason only.
He was a highly touted full blown 5 star no-holds-barred psychopathic, sociopathic prototype Edge Rusher/Outside Linebacker once upon a time, but was betrayed by his one time idol and father figure Nick Sabin, and stabbed in the back some very highly questionable Alabama Boosters.
Now, He’s come to BPW to regain some kind of respectability in his life while earning some “easy” cash along the way.
$50,000 would be a great start.
But surely, this “easy” money would have to be laundered after passing through the hands of Conrad Dukes before he even sees one dime. And BPW, stop calling me, Shirley. Besides, the bigger question, would he have to go through this Von Brant fellow to recover his full share of the grand prize money?
His stomach grows.
His thoughts come back to the real reason why he got into this predicament in the first place.
Lázaro Vicente was saying to him, “ Hey asá, come to Luxor Hotel & Casino, let’s get together, and have the buffet and a few cervezas.”
He doesn’t see any buffet and cervezas. But…
He looks over at High Voltage playing with his injured family jewels and thinking, “Been there, and done that, brah…”
He does a double take, looking over at Hachiman in anime sumo wrestling the giggling and unsettling insect, Mr Flop. He won’t be able to get that look out of his head.
Until…
He looks over at Lexi and lip syncs while blowing her a kiss, “Catch, me!…”
Corey Bull launches him over the top rope while casting a shadow over Lázaro Vicente as he performs an UP-YOURS ELBOW SMASH on the two front rows of the viewing audience in section DD.
While recovering from being thrown into the audience by Corey Bull, Lázaro Vicente lands a MOONSAULT on him that can only be described as the reaction your body gets after eating the #2 Combination plate at Roberto’s Taco Shop on 5335 South Decatur Boulevard # D&E. Es muy malo.
He makes his way back to the squared-circle, stands with one foot on the prone High Voltage and starts posing down like a bodybuilder and is met with a DDT by Lexi Sparkles. Sparkling stars can be seen circling his head in cartoon fashion as he bounces back up to his feet.
Slapping the side of his head, his sparkling blues regain focus and focus on Lexi Sparkles. He points an accusatory index finger in a no, no, no gesture.
Lexi Sparkles drops to her knees pleading her innocence. He grabs a handful of hair and is about to bitch-slap her but he went to BAMA and not The U.
He hesitates.
WOOOOOOOO!!!
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Post by thegoldenidol on Sept 3, 2021 4:54:38 GMT -6
Gotta keep fighting, gotta keep clawing for this opportunity, for mija and mi Familia.
Lázaro crawls toward the ropes and begins to pull himself up in the corner. As the corner assists with his standing, Lázaro looks at the carnage before him, waiting for his spot. Lexi is attempting to fight off Taylor who has a handful of her hair, Hachiman is back up to his feet delivering vicious chops to High Voltage in the far corner opposite of him, and Bull is standing in the center of the ring with his eyes with all the rage in the world fixated on Lázaro.
Mios dios… Looks like it is time to grab the Bull by the horn, huh?
Bull roars before smashing Lázaro in the corner with a deep shoulder into Lázaro's gut and like his namesake, Bull launches Lázaro over him like a Bull goring a matador. Lázaro tries to scramble away, but Bull grabs him by the left leg and hoists him up in a stretch muffler, wrenching at the joint.
You can't go out like this, Lázaro, you must keep fighting. This monster is only a man and as much as head strong believe they're invincible… THEY ARE NOT.
Lázaro hangs, being jolted up and down in Bull's unforgiving submission hold, but Lázaro finds his opening as swings as hard as he can into Bull's lower regions. Bull screams out in an ear crushing roar and Lázaro is dropped back to the mat, where he finds his footing.
Alright, Lázaro, time to call your shot… This Bull is going to be pissed as hell about being low blowed and he's going to come for you with all the rage he can muster.
Bull with fire in his eyes looks at Lázaro and points a giant meat hook at him.
Compose yourself, Lázaro and look for his weak point…
Bull comes running in with a full head of steam and Lázaro drop kicks the monster's left knee, sending him skidding across the shards of glass on the mat. Lázaro stands up and points to his temple with the fans cheering him on.
I will be your El campeón soon enough, but first there's a cash prize to seek.
Lázaro bows waiting for roses to fall upon him like a matador defeating a bull and his moment is taken from him by a spinning heel kick from Hachiman who's broken away from High Voltage.
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Post by hachiman0 on Sept 3, 2021 11:56:30 GMT -6
Hachiman slides to his knees, bloody beads dripping down the side of his flabby physique, as the contrail of the intensifying combat was awoken the best of these competitors. Bull rises slowly with the ropes as his crutch with a noticeably limp. Lazaro, undoubtedly the hungriest of the pack, has taken a moment to pull glass from his forearm. Hachiman feels pangs of the moment that beckon him to make his own plea towards the rancor of that bloodthirsty mob. Wherein he climbs the turnbuckle and presents a parlor trick stowed beneath his ridiculous turban.
"Are you not enter--gah!" he screams moments before unveiling the flash paper trick he prepped for such a moment--except his terror capitulates the moment his headdress catches on fire. "No!"
He stomps out the blaze, but something else catches his glassy eyes. Ghosts of the a bygone era aflutter the casino during the Luciano days: big suits, hats and smokers abound. His vision focuses to see the missile shape of Taylor plowing towards him head-on. Hachiman takes the hit that smashes him into the turnbuckle. Shoulder thrusts see him pleading towards the heavens as the fifth of these violent thrusts is interrupted by a Bull-sized corner splash.
Taylor retreats, leaving the bug-squashed Hachiman in the corner. Bull then grabs his throat and pushes his head back so he can get in a few good gut kicks. The bugged-eyed soothsayer flees for the upper rung, leaving him in place for Bull to pull him off and manhandle his tubby body before executing a muscle stretch buster that leaves Hachiman sparkling towards the ethereal plane.
Bull roars with Lazaro and Lexi now on their feet and readying attack positions once again. He welcomes all comers when High Voltage springs from the middle rope with a perfectly pointed triangle dropkick that sends the big man into the corner so that it becomes Archie Bunker's armchair. Lazaro goes fist with a boot washing kick. Taylor flies over with a clothesline to Bull. Lexi bookends with a shining wizard.
Hachiman rises from his stupor in daze, when he notices the chain of attack. He looks to this momentary alliance wondering if he should go too.
"¡Adelante!" Lazaro calls.
Hachiman powers up his run Looney Tunes style before charging. Bull then roars awake, meeting him halfway with a towering back body drop that makes this sanguine crowd audibly gasp. He then throat cuts towards the rest with vicious intentions in those animal eyes.
Everyone attacks him at once, but rage sees the match's monster chuck everyone about until only Bull is left in the center of the ring. The rest eye him as it seems this in-ring NATO is crumbling once more.
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Post by thegoldenidol on Sept 3, 2021 14:20:24 GMT -6
This Bull is a formidable foe and he rules this ring with his pure strength, but that knee of his will be his undoing.
Lázaro slithers out of the ring and ventures beneath in search of a weapon that'll deal out the damage he is looking for, while Bull stomps away at the other fallen wrestlers.
The monster will be slayed by my hand and my hand alone…
Lázaro pulls out a steel chair and a wide smile creeps across his face. Lázaro looks to Bull who has his back to him, so he slithers in behind him and he doesn't hesitate to chop block the giant down to one knee. Lázaro backs up before delivering a superkick to the back of Bull's head sending him to the mat.
Now to keep the big man down…
Lázaro looks around at his opponents who are starting to come to life and he nods at each of them before grabbing a hold of Bull's left leg. Lázaro slides the chair down and around Bull's knee, but Hachiman steps up to Lázaro pleading for him not to do this.
What does this perro want? Why would he stop me from putting an end to this monster's rampage?
Lázaro shoves Hachiman out of the way and Hachiman comes back with a slap across Lázaro's face, which mainly catches him by surprise.
Did this man child, just slap me? This perro?
Lázaro leaves Bull on the ground with his chair wrapped leg and he turns his attention to Hachiman who's now backing away with a shit eating grin on his face. Lázaro explodes onto Hachiman with a flurry of chops and he ends it with a spin kick that send Hachiman to the corner turnbuckle. Lázaro nails a stinger of a chop across Hachiman's chest before he tells him to silencio. Lázaro hoists Hachiman to a seater position on the top turnbuckle and he positions himself with a suplex, but he is met by Lexi and Taylor who grab the insides of his legs in an assisted powerbomb fashion. The tower of bodies made up of Hachiman, Lázaro, Lexi, and Taylor all comes crashing down onto the chair wrapped around Bull's leg causing the giant scream out in agony.
Mios dios…
High Voltage stands up holding his head, eyeballing the literal train wreck that is before him, with a look of awe upon his face. He can easily pick his spot here and he quickly grabs up Lexi off the mat.
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Post by Ripped “Tide” Taylor on Sept 3, 2021 17:48:39 GMT -6
From the fan reaction, Lexi Sparkles landed a classic Charlotte Flair style uppercut to his nether regions, you know, his g-r-o-i-n, before being bitch-slapped. He does a 360 degree pirouette while cupping his precious family jewels as Lexi Sparkles lands her signature move, Shockwave, a super kick to the back of his head before he could Flair Flop that sends him plowing into Hachiman. He bounces off Hachiman like a pinball wizard and somehow lands a spellbinding clothesline on Corey Bull. He blinks. And that Lexi Sparkles appears out of nowhere and bookends his spellbinding clothesline with a shining wizard. He gives her a WTF look. Meanwhile, High Voltage comes off the top rope with a twisting body block on him, but he catches High Voltage’s signature move, Thunderstruck. But before he can reverse the maneuver, Spartan lands a spinning heel leg sweep, while simultaneously, Mr. Flop lands what can only be described as a spinning Flop of Psychomagnotheric Slime to his face. Who are you gonna call? Miss Ainsworth? He does a worm dance into the corner while grappling with Flop of Psychomagnotheric Slime to his face. Lexi Sparkles comes over and whispers sweet nothings into his ear as she wipes his face clean with a snot rag. He gives her a WTF look, you’re not my mother, and pushes her away. They both turn and look at Lázaro Vincente hoisting Hachiman into a seated position on the top turnbuckle while positioning himself for a superplex. They fist bump each other. Wonder Twins Powers… Activate! They grab each one of Lázaro Vincente’s chicken wing looking legs and perform a Wonder Twins Double Powerbomb on top of Corey Bull’s leg trapped in a steel chair. Corey Bull screams out, what sounds like, “KELLY CLARKSON!…” In a four-on-one move, they crash down on Corey Bull’s leg trapped in a steel chair and dogpile on top of him. Corey Bull screams out, what sounds like, “OPRAH WINFREY!…” Hachiman gets a prize. Lexi Sparkles gets a prize. Lázaro Vincente gets a prize. But, he doesn’t get a prize, not yet anyways, instead, he coconut butts Hachiman, Lexi Sparkles, and Lázaro Vincente together in a Three Stooges style maneuver. The audience goes nuts as he finally gets OVER by landing his own solo offensive maneuver in the match. We see Ripped “Tide” Taylor, wearing his old torn and worn out #55 Alabama Crimson Tide red home jersey that’s cut in half to show off his very “ripped” washboard abs, his blood and grass stained white 7 pad football pants, and red & white cleated Nike’s sharpened into spikes, funky like a monkey strutting into the center of the squared-circle. He thrusts his tapped fist into the air while holding his “UnOfficial” Alabama Crimson Tide #55 Football Helmet in a silent cheer, and freezes there, like Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club…
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Post by thegoldenidol on Sept 5, 2021 10:07:56 GMT -6
Lázaro stands up behind Taylor who's off in his own world, taking in what he assumes are cheers from the crowd at his Breakfast Club feel good moment and Lázaro simply shakes his head with his hands on his hips.
What an El stupido gringo…
Lázaro quickly scoops up Taylor with a German suplex and he takes him to the mat onto the shards of glass, both of their backs connecting equally.
Mios dios! El stupido, Lázaro!
Meanwhile the far side of the ring showcases Hachiman and Lexi sharing chops with one another. Lexi gets the upper hand by kicking the knee out from under Hachiman and dropping him with a vicious exclamation point ddt onto the glass shards. High Voltage and Bull have spilt to the outside, both men holding their own light tube looking for a chance to strike.
You can't win this match from the mat, Lázaro… It's time to FIGHT like you've never fought before. Take out the largest opponents, so the path to victory can become clearer.
Lázaro finds his feet and he notices Bull and High Voltage measuring each other up with their light tube.
This is either genius or extremely, extremely foolish…
Lázaro points two finger pistols at Bull and High Voltage before sprinting toward the ropes.
For mija!!!
Lázaro flies through the ropes looking to catch Bull and High Voltage off guard, but he is met with dual light tube shots causing him to skid across the ground on the outside, clinging to whatever parts of his body are screaming out the most. Bull and High Voltage look at Lázaro for a second before returning their attention one another, they begin to share punches like a good old fashion hockey fight.
Foolish…
In the ring, Taylor is back up trying to gain a second wind, he interrupts Lexi and Hachiman by shoving Lexi out of the ring and delivering a knife edge chop to Hachiman. Taylor lands a few more before Irish whipping Hachiman across the ring and he rebounds into Taylor's waiting arms, where he belly to bellies him up over his head, crashing down hard on the glass shards. Taylor rips the rest of his jersey off and flexes on the downed Hachiman. Lexi sneaks in and leaps onto Taylor's shoulders before shifting her body into a tiltawhirl headscissors, sending Taylor down to the mat. Lexi is now standing tall in the ring, with Bull and High Voltage still battling it out, outside of it.
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